Comments on Bloorb: My Safe Place

This is an amazing post and thank you so much for ...

2009-11-18T13:59:51.523-08:00

This is an amazing post and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. As a new parent myself, I want to be sensitive to those around me who might still be silently battling IF. I almost wish there was some secret hand signal, some way to let me know that I understand what they're going through and how it makes me appreciate what I have now.

Thank you for sending me over to Kym's blog. Wond...

2009-11-17T14:06:34.878-08:00

Thank you for sending me over to Kym's blog. Wonderful posts, from both her and you. Gave me a lot to think about...

Great post! I don't think we can ever forget..it's...

2009-11-16T09:36:36.335-08:00

Great post! I don't think we can ever forget..it's become too much a part of who and what we are. I want to wear a sticker on my forehead when I'm out with our daughter " It took us 3 years, 2 surgeries, and 1 sperm donor for our daughter to be here", because I don't want to cause anyone else out there in the world pain by seeing us happy with a child.

Amen and thank you. Thank you for posting the lin...

2009-11-15T10:38:26.167-08:00

Amen and thank you. Thank you for posting the link to Kym's blog and for posting about this bizarre place to be.

I appreciate rocket.queens reminder that there ~are~ fertiles who understand. Like you, when asked about my pregnancy I felt I needed to preface any conversation with how hard it was for me to get there. And that 'poor me, I'll never get to go out or sleep

I haven't had a chance to click over to Kim's post...

2009-11-15T06:29:52.336-08:00

I haven't had a chance to click over to Kim's post yet, but Chicklet your post really makes me think.

I'm on the eve of finding out if my first IVF cycle worked after 4 years of STC #2...and I keep thinking that IF I'm lucky, and I don't suffer another loss, I don't know how I'm going to react to people and my (hopefully)pregnancy. Because, like you, I can

I remember feeling very similar to this while I wa...

2009-11-15T05:43:30.856-08:00

I remember feeling very similar to this while I was pg. I had friends at work & church who wanted to hear me gush about how great pregnancy was and how all excited I was...& well, I was happy, yes, & grateful. But I couldn't bring myself to GUSH. Partly b/c I was terrified of something going wrong the entire time (comes with that IF territory). The other part b/c I felt out of

chicklet and rocket.queen, you've both hit on the ...

2009-11-15T05:35:13.756-08:00

chicklet and rocket.queen, you've both hit on the topic of one of the spin-off posts that I'm planning. I also don't assume that all fertiles are ignorant, though it might seem that I do with my writing. All we really want as infertiles, rocket.queen, is that people at least have the capacity to try to see through our lens and try to understand how we might feel. You seem to have that

While there was no ass kicking intended, I'm glad ...

2009-11-15T00:14:53.684-08:00

While there was no ass kicking intended, I'm glad I could help. I was just trying to give some hope that not all of us who have it easy are blindly ungrateful for it. Sadly, the vast majority are, and I totally understand the urge to scratch their eyes out. Sometimes I get it too.

My oops is kicking my ass. Makes the fight to be thankful a little tougher and is definitely the

rocket.queen, your comment is more than welcomed -...

2009-11-15T00:00:32.536-08:00

rocket.queen, your comment is more than welcomed - it's actually appreciated cuz you gave me a swift little kick to the ass.

You reminded me that while I'm being sensitive to those who may still be in the trenches, I'm being insensitive to the fertiles who DO get it - I'm lumping you all together when that's not really fair. There's obviously exceptions like

Lurker that I am both this and Kymberli's post res...

2009-11-14T23:49:02.337-08:00

Lurker that I am both this and Kymberli's post resonate with me, a "fertile" so to speak (although with a miscarriage and lots of ties to the IF community). I try my best to be sensitive to all sides. My best friend has been TTC for 5 years and just got pregnant only to lose her one and only baby. IF sucks for all involved, even me, the "cheerleader". Currently pregnant

I keep hoping that the kind of subtle understandin...

2009-11-14T19:22:11.077-08:00

I keep hoping that the kind of subtle understanding and deeper empathy that comes from sussing out how to talk about pregnancy will stay with me so that I can be a more sensitive person in general. I feel like it's made a big difference in my ability to clue in on various possibilities in other people's struggles, but I'm also sure that I've missed the cues on some issues.
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That was a great post! Thanks for directing me to ...

2009-11-14T17:45:09.158-08:00

That was a great post! Thanks for directing me to it. I think the one thing that IF does do for us is make us much more kinder, gentler, and empathetic. That I AM thankful for because if I EVER make it out of this HELL (and after 9 yrs it is not looking good) I never want to be THAT blissfully unaware pregnant woman or mother. I never want someone to have there day ruined because of something I

I saw the post yesterday and was like, YES! A mill...

2009-11-14T17:05:44.869-08:00

I saw the post yesterday and was like, YES! A million times YES! I've said it once and I'll say it a million times. I wish there were a city we could all live in, and our kids could play together and we could sip wine as they bask in the sun.

Excellent post. I'm about to click over and ready...

2009-11-14T13:14:15.415-08:00

Excellent post. I'm about to click over and ready Kim's.

I agree completely and think about it all the time. I actually stopped getting my morning coffee because I didn't want to be that girl that brings a baby into a coffee shop every single morning. That would have killed me 2 years ago. And still, 2 years later, I still put the disclaimer on everything..."we

Brilliant, thoughtful post, Chicklet. What's nice...

2009-11-14T12:24:28.035-08:00

Brilliant, thoughtful post, Chicklet. What's nice about being in your shoes - even if others don't always see it that way - is that you now have a truly multi-faceted perspective of the world around you. You can see it from here, from there, from other places - which I think is something that we could all use more of: just an understanding, an awareness, of what reality looks like to

Oh, yes, Kym. Totally resonated with those of us p...

2009-11-14T11:24:42.301-08:00

Oh, yes, Kym. Totally resonated with those of us pg after IF. I didn't really just how much I was not over all this until my cousin said something stupid about relaxing to both me AND my donor at my baby shower. Relaxing was NEVER going to get either of us pregnant.

Oh, and FULL TERM? 40 WEEKS? That's what I get for...

2009-11-14T11:12:07.160-08:00

Oh, and FULL TERM? 40 WEEKS? That's what I get for not coming around as much as I should. One day you have great betas and the next day you're read to deliver. WOW!

I just ran in the door from a Saturday meeting (WT...

2009-11-14T11:10:17.873-08:00

I just ran in the door from a Saturday meeting (WTF is up with THAT?) and now I'm on my way back out the door (taking one of the twins to a birthday party - cue passport thoughts), but I wanted to say that I'm going to be thinking about this post of yours for the next three hours that I'm out so that I can come home and give an even longer reply.

But - wow. The interesting

wasn't that post just like someone finally transla...

2009-11-14T10:49:55.751-08:00

wasn't that post just like someone finally translated your brain? It is a total struggle to know your place in the world of kids. Before it was either you have them or you don't, you can or you can't. I am constantly squirming at parts of myself that are still totally bitter and angry about infertility. And I worry daily that people just seeing me out and about think that the little