Okay, so this is one of those posts that I'm kinda afraid to write as it's a topic that gets people all heated and stuff, but if I'm going to get back into writing here at Bloorb, I need to write about whatever the hell it is I feel like writing about. And what I FEEL like writing about, is what's going on. At work.
And no, there's not actually any drama or anything bad at all - it's actually all good! But it's also really interesting. It's interesting the things people talk to me about now that I'm a mum, it's interesting the things people think I'll feel now that I'm a WORKING mum, and it's interesting the things that people I barely know think are their business.
And again, I don't say that in a bad way, just an INTERESTING way. Cuz I find it just a little bit FASCINATING that co-workers I don't really know that well, are actually totally comfortable talking to me about my boobs. Yes, my boobs. And sure, what they're really talking to me about is breastfeeding, so not REALLY my boobs, but to me it's still my boobs. It's also something that as I hinted at in the first paragraph can be quite sensitive to talk about. So again, I'm just a little bit fascinated that people are totally comfortable asking me about my breastfeeding habits now that I'm back at work.
And sure, I actually have it pretty easy in that I get to say I AM still breastfeeding, so there's never anything very heated discussed after my answer, but the thing that's strange to me is that people I really don't know all that well, people who I've never had real intimate conversations with, are asking me flat-out if I'm still breastfeeding. They're also asking me how often I'm breastfeeding. And they're even asking me if I'm still pumping. And they're asking me with what seem to be blinders on, because who's to say if I struggled with breastfeeding, who's to say if I had issues and wasn't able to, who's to say it's not something that really upsets me to talk about as it's one more way my body failed me?
Again, I've been really lucky that I had a kid and a body that allowed me to keep doing this, so I DIDN'T struggle and I WASN'T upset, so these discussions don't get too crazy on me, but I also see when I say I'm only breastfeeding two or three times a day, or when I say I'm no longer pumping [as I'm not interested in spending all my free time with a cow-like device attached to me], well I can see the hesitation my co-workers have. I can see their want to give me advice. I can see them biting their lip, thinking of all the things they COULD say to me about what I'm doing. And I can see that if I wasn't so lucky, these conversations could be a HELL of a lot more awkward than they are.
It feels to me, like if my answers were different, this really MIGHT turn into a heated debate. It really might not, who knows, but there's something in their eyes, there's something there where I'm getting the nod of approval for what I'm doing - a nod I wouldn't see if I weren't still doing it. And while everyone's entitled to their own opinion on these things, I find this topic to be extremely personal, so it's weird to me that co-workers are just so comfortable opening the discussion. It's weird to me that going in with blinders on, not knowing what landmines you're stepping into, is so totally acceptable.
Friday, 3 December, 2010
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3 comments:
Honestly, I'd be MORTIFIED if one of my coworkers asked me about my nursing habits. When I was pumping, I used to skulk off twice a day to a whole other DEPARTMENT, even though I have an office, because I just get creeped out by the idea that my coworkers would KNOW that I was pumping. Meh.
And by the end, when I had supply issues and O was pushing me away, crying, because I didn't have enough for him, yeah, I probably would have gone off on someone if they implied that I should have kept BF him instead of weaning at 9 months like I ended up doing.
It really is interesting the topics that are no longer off limits, though, on an intellectual basis. Honestly, I had a conversation with someone one day about baby poo and how toddler poo is a different beast altogether. And now we have the potty training discussions, too.
xoxo
a lot of people asked me about breastfeeding too; however, i received a different response to my answers. i breastfed my girl until she was 13 months old. where i live, that is not the norm. that is not expected. that is not quite accepted. the looks i received weren't looks of approval but of "wow, that's weird/gross/abnormal." but, well, i actually didn't care, because i really enjoyed the entire breastfeeding experience and liked to (hopefully) help break the stigma attached to breastfeeding beyond 12 weeks around here...
i guess i didn't find it odd that people asked me the question. i'm sure i've asked it of others out of curiosity. and i'll probably ask it again. i can understand your point though, that it could be hard on someone who wasn't able to breastfeed... just like the question i'm already being asked about when i'm going to have another baby is hard on me, because i don't know when or if i'll be able to have another baby.
I work in a highly male industry. The one time I mentioned it to my VP because I was refusing to travel before mini was 6 months, he blanched and practically ran out of my office. Just about everyone knew but no one would have dared say anything.
Like heather, it's so rare here that anyone bf long term that no one even thinks to ask.
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