The Baby Book Dilemma

I, chicklet, am a little sentimental. Not a LOT sentimental. Just a little sentimental. What I am a lot of, however, is emotional over this kid, which actually MAKES me probably a little more sentimental than I'd normally be. That doesn't necessarily translate to a baby book though, cuz in the 15 minute intervals he sometimes sleeps in, it's easier to just EMAIL myself cool things he does, than to try to assemble a baby book.

Cuz those emails? Well, they take about 30 seconds to write, send, receive, and save to a "D" folder. A baby book though? Well that seems like it'd take a HELL of a lot longer, and would just end up as one more item outstanding on my to do list. And really, when I've only got 14.5 minute intervals to do stuff, I'd selfishly rather PEE, get something to EAT, maybe draft a post here to track more of how this time really was, or set up for a photoshoot - something I'm doing a lot of with D (taking photos), and when he's awake, I need to be READY or I'm screwed for getting the photos I want.

Because while breastfeeding IS tough, and SOME days the fussiness drives me out of my MIND, there's so many things I DO want to capture - not just in photos, but in writing, so I can look back one day (or many days), and be all "OMG, I forgot he did that!". And then I can be SOOOO very happy that I at least took the time to WRITE IT DOWN, even if I DIDN'T get it into a baby book.

Things like the grandparents being here over Christmas, and them not being able to get ENOUGH of [holding] him, meant I actually MISSED my boy - while we were in the SAME DAMN HOUSE. Who the hell AM I?!

Things like the day after the grandparents left, D falling asleep on my chest, head nuzzled into my neck, and staying there for HOURS. Hours that for once I didn't take advantage of to get things done, that I instead just sat there in the quiet, just me and my boy, totally and COMPLETELY loving every minute of it.

Things like the single screeching inhale he makes when he's having a good dream. And I know it's good, because he smiles in his sleep afterwards.

Things like the CONSTANT grunting and groaning and stretching. Midway through breastfeeding, after breastfeeding, while waking up, after waking up - which you know, is pretty much about all he does some days...

Things like how he almost always sleeps with his hands over his head, bent into little "flexing bicep" positions, with his fists held all super tight.

Things like when he's sleeping and does that moro reflex thing, his hands ALWAYS land in "gang signs", up in the air, in front of his face, for at least a little while before going back into the flex position above. He's like a rapper. He be chillin'.

Things like how much he LOVES his baths. We put him in the kitchen sink and seriously, it's INSANE how much fun he haves. Particularly when he uses his legs together to push off one side, and slide to the other - good LORD the smiles from ear to ear he makes when he does it.

Things like those smiles, the REAL ones, that started around 5 weeks. The smiles that now are actually in RESPONSE to stuff, rather than just randomly while he's grunting one out or sleeping. In response to dad tapping on his nose or eating his head. In response to mama squishing his lips together like a puckered fish or chewing his neck saying "mrumyummrumyum".

Things like the tiny little fat wrinkles he's now getting in his arms, legs, neck, and everywhere else. The tiny little fat wrinkles that make him so much more a BABY, than an old-man-looking newborn.

Things like the buddha belly he's getting along WITH his fat wrinkles. A belly that looks like a kid who even though he drives me CRAZY sometimes with the breastfeeding, is at least showing me that it must be working. Cuz he didn't have that belly before.

Things like when we go for walks, he ALWAYS tucks one hand into a fist up by his mouth, and the other hangs out the side of the Bjorn like it's not even attached as it just flips and flops as we walk.

Things like how he can hold his head up pretty good now. He SUCKS at tummy time still (which he's supposed to according to the books), but when we carry him upright, he's not such a bobblehead anymore. Yes, it still bobbles, but only SOME of the time.

Things like how when we breastfeed in the middle of the night now, when he's almost done and starting to doze off, he'll extend his top arm over fully, resting it over his eyes like he's blocking the light - even though it's pitch black in our room.

Things like how he's given me THREE nights in a row now with 4-4.5 hour stretches of sleep! THREE NIGHTS!!! Albeit after 1 or 2 or 3am, but still - a 4 hour stretch is like REAL sleep!

Things like how damn chatty he is when he's having his butt changed on his change table. He will stare up at those animal pictures the ENTIRE time, and just chat away like they're his friends, and he's there for a visit, and he can't miss out on a SINGLE SECOND of that visit.

Things like his little legs kicking a mile a minute when he's not swaddled. He will just kick and kick and kick and kick - like he's going somewhere, or TRYING to go somewhere, and that kicking is trucking him along, except that it's not.

Things like how damn cute he looks pretty much ALL of the time. Yes, the baby acne has come and gone, and yes, his head is now peeling like there's no tomorrow, but good GAWD do I just think he's the cutest f*g thing EVER. ALL. THE. TIME. I've become THAT mother.

Things like how happy he is to be swaddled "like a bug" by dad - who by the way has learned to swaddle like a pro! In those first two weeks, I didn't think he'd EVER get it, but now? Well I think he even kicks MY ass at it. But it's not the actual SWADDLING I think D loves so much, but the process by which dad swaddles him - with all sorts of ROLLING, and FLIPPING, and of course some eating of his head to top it all off.

Things like how even watching a movie is different now. Because yea, we have to stop the movie a LOT to do things for D (uh, butt, butt, and MORE butt), but I think I have trouble remembering the movie not because it was stopped and started so frequently, but because I spend too much of it enamored with this little schmooger. I'm too busy staring at my damn kid to really pay attention to anything else.

*Note, this post has nothing to do with the comments a couple posts back. I'd been drafting it for awhile, so the timing is just an unfortunate coincidence.