There are days with this kid, where things are FAR from perfect. FAR from awesome. FAR from that whole "stay at home mom" thing that people think it's so easy, that people think all you do is sit around all day.
Because there are days, like the other day, where this kid essentially will NOT let me put him down... ALL F*G DAY. Where if I DO put him down, he cries. And I don't just mean CRIES, I mean SHRIEKS, WAILS, and makes sounds similar to the kind you'd expect from someone who had been SHOT.
There are days, like the other day, where I'm shocked to say all I got done was brushed my teeth and peed. Because between the NEVER-ENDING FEEDINGS, the LIMITLESS DIAPER CHANGES, and of course the CONSTANT exercise ball BOUNCING, there ain't a whole lot of time left in the day. To actually DO anything. Because oh, when people AND books told you your baby would sleep 16 hours a day, they LIED.
Sure, SOME days they really WILL sleep 16 hours. And on those days, your life will be GLORRRRRRIOUSSSSS! Because oh my, not only will you pee AND brush your teeth, but you might even FEED yourself, get DRESSED, answer an email, and even tackle a SINGLE item on your to do list. And you might not even need to top the day off with a cider or glass of wine! Well, you might still WANT to top your day off with a cider or glass of wine, but at least that cider or glass of wine will be for ENJOYMENT, instead of STRESS RELIEF. From your screeching child.
Because SOME days, with a screeching child, well they're rough. Really. F*g. Rough. And to make it worse, SOME days, with a screeching child, this child also needs to be fed EVERY HOUR, because he's in a growth spurt... or something. Which means even when this child is actually QUIET, he STILL needs me, because instead of bouncing or changing, I'm feeding. ALL. THE. TIME.
So yesterday, to feel like a HUMAN BEING, to feel like I could actually get a BREAK once in awhile, I finally hauled out the pump and pumped - something that for some reason I was actually kind of AFRAID to do, but something I now desperately NEED to be ABLE to do.
Because while this kid will remain 99% breastfed, there are days where I will [again] hand off this child to the husband saying YOU F*G TAKE HIM. And having pumped will mean not only will I get a LITTLE break to recapture my sanity, but I will get a little LONGER break. To recapture my sanity, and myself.
Monday, 21 December, 2009
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15 comments:
I can just see you sitting on your bouncy ball, holding D while typing this post with one hand.
I had several days like that. I hear ya!
Did you, by chance, get a Snuggli (a wrap that holds the baby around your body while your hands are free to do other things)?
That helped me find some sanity. A swing helped too (especially with the twins). Pumping helped too. So did wine. :)
There are days like this...and then there are days that aren't like this (which will hopefully start to become more and more common).
Sure, they sleep 16 hours a day...in 20 minute increments.
Getting a backup supply is a good thing. It means you get to take a break every now and then. We had the swing and the bouncy chair that worked for our daughter, but she did like the personal interaction.
The first 9 weeks or so the Moby wrap saved my life. I still had her attached to me but I at least had my hands free and could eat, brush my teeth, stand there swaying reading, and yes, even pee.
BTDT and BTFTSWF.
(...felt the same f-- way).
From a gal who loved to check things off her list, I had to start putting "brush my teeth" on a list just so I would accomplish something.
It will pass. Until #2. ;-)
Good for you. I pumped in addition to breastfeeding from the very beginning with my oldest and it was a sanity saver.
I remember those days. It does get better, even though that seems so far off now.
And there's nothing wrong with doing whatever you need to do to give yourself a break. Don't try to be superwoman.
Hang in there, sister. It IS hard. I am juggling the same thing down here. It is pretty glamorous (not!). I often find that of sleeping, eating, and showering, I have time to choose one. Choosing two is a good day. I often choose sleep. It is getting better though.
Pumping was key for me in surviving the first 6 weeks with Lemy. After that point BFing became more manageable, but I clung to my pump in those early weeks. Best. Decision. Ever. :)
There were many days where combing my hair was a victory. Hang in there!
I second the soft carrier assvice. The ergo was awesome on those screamy mcscreamer days. Or I would just stay in bed visiting with Auntie Oprah.
I agree that the whole sleeping 16 hours a day thing is BS. Jillian sleeps far more at 1 year old than she did at 1 week or 1 month old.
Sure, my baby slept 16 hours a day. In 15 minute increments! Which didn't allow me to get sh!t done. Even once the crying got better, he ate every three hours. Once you take out the time it took to feed him, burp him and change him, I had only 2 hours to do what I needed before I had to be back again. It is a weird feeling living your life three hours at a time.
I just glanced over and saw areyoukiddingme said the same thing I did - at least it wasn't just me!
I have a Peanut Shell sling and it ~does~ help. In the house, he is only content in it for 30-45 minutes but if I just needed to get out of the house, I would take him to the mall in it. If I kept walking, he would sleep for close to two hours. Glorious!
NOTHING wrong with pumping. Or bottles.
BTW, is D in a "Wonder Week"? Week 5 maybe? You were reading that book, right?
Oh, and I second swings. Lifesavers.
I've got a Bjorn so am trying carrying him around in that during the day. If it doesn't work, I'll be all over the soft carrier as per all the advice - thanks!!
As for the sleep, thanks for admitting yours only sleeps in 15min increments too. Nobody talks about it, I dont' get it!!!
And I'm reading Wonder Weeks but he's only week 4.... although being 10d late maybe changes that. I should re- read.
At least you got to brush your teeth:) There were days where I swear I didn't even brush them:) NO Joke!! It will get better!!
I remember all those days I peed while holding her... She's six now...
Leslie
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