1 Month Old

A couple days ago, D turned one month old. ONE MONTH. Like I don't just have a NEWBORN, I have a baby, who's a MONTH old! A baby who's probably still considered a newborn to most, but to me, he's a baby who isn't so NEWBORN anymore.

I instead have this kid who doesn't even look like the same one we brought home, and while *I* still thought he was the cutest thing in the world, I CAN honestly say it's good he doesn't look like that anymore... cuz he's just gotten cuter (minus the baby acne, but meh, that'll go away soon I hope). Those gangly long legs? Well they now have teeny little fat rolls in them. Those rock-hard abs? Well THEY now have a good layer of baby belly covering them. And that SCRAWNY little face attached to that GREAT BIG noggin'? Well it's got the chubbiest little cheeks balancing things out now.

But with all those changes, comes other changes too, changes that kinda... THREW me. Like when I look at him, I KNOW he looks different, and I KNOW he's grown, but when he's still fitting into newborn-size diapers, how can I NOT be surprised when the husband brought D out in an outfit I KNOW didn't fit him last week - it was too long - and this week it fits PERFECTLY? Or what about that favorite hat we got as a gift? The one that covered his ENTIRE HEAD (and face) when he was born, yet now is a teeny bit tight so I had to race to get photos before his head gets any damn bigger? Or even what about the way that we thought we'd transition him from our room to his room by moving the co-sleeper into his crib, yet yesterday we realized he's almost the FULL LENGTH of the co-sleeper now, and by the time we're ready to move him to his room, he'll have OUTGROWN the co-sleeper!

Speaking of the co-sleeper, he just banged into the [soft] edges yet again, exercising his morning wake-up ritual. The one where he stretches his arms out FULL LENGTH, all the while grunting and groaning like a tired old man struggling to get out of bed. Where he THROWS his legs completely VERTICAL into the air, and holds them there while his face turns purple with yet MORE grunting and groaning, but still proceeds to spend around half an hour waking, groaning, stretching, tossing out a loud cry or two, and then falling back asleep until he's totally ready for his day.

And when he's ready for his day, one of his favorite things to do now is lay on the change table and stare up at our Africa photos. I KNOW he can't comprehend what they are, and I KNOW he's not actually focussing on this animal vs that animal, but seriously, it's like his change table is the HAPPIEST place on earth - once he's done screaming over the wet diaper... if he even does that anymore, cuz even that screaming is hit and miss now... sometimes he's quite okay with a wet diaper. But going back to my point, if there was a SAFE way to just leave him on that change table, I totally would, because on it, he gets all chatty and smiley, and just loves to kick his legs around and check out the photos, and chill.

But overall, he's much happier than he was in those first two weeks. No, we didn't have a MISERABLE baby by any means, but we DID have a baby we couldn't figure out AT ALL, we DID have a baby who would not sleep at night EVER, and we DID have a baby who fed freaking CRAZY irregularly... like mostly every hour to hour and a half. Versus now, we have a baby who we at least know to check his damn DIAPER when he screams (uh, seems obvious, but we forgot ALL THE TIME!), and often it IS the diaper that's the issue. And now we also have a baby who while he still refuses to go to bed before 1:30 or 2am, at least now sleeps in TWO and THREE HOUR stretches (at night), which means he FEEDS in those same stretches (wahoo!), which means we get a teeny bit of sleep again finally (hallelujah!). During the day he's still irregular, but I'll take it anytime over the night-time craziness. And ANYTIME over the donkey boy experiences we had when he first came home. Which we've been lucky enough to only have had one more since...

While certain foods really MIGHT be making him fussy, I've yet to pinpoint anything consistent on the fussiness so I'm just sorta eating what I want, tracking it, and watching - he's a baby, he WILL fuss, oh well. The big thing I AM actually watching for though is ridiculously hot SPECIFIC foods. Like this kid is fine with Indian food, but not so much with CERTAIN Thai foods. Like this kid is fine with hot salsa, but not so much with JALAPENOS. Or at least that's what we're thinking now, because the only thing we DO know is that on the donkey boy nights, where he's screamed for hours and hours and HOURS, NON-STOP, without even PAUSING TO BREATHE, the only consistent ANYTHING has been my intake of jalapenos or hot chilis. So uh, those will be dropped from the diet for awhile, in hopes of retiring the scary little bastard we call donkey boy.

Overall though, one month later, with a ONE MONTH OLD BABY, things are hard, but good. It's HARD to leave the house and plan your day when you know damn well that your kid is going to feed WHENEVER and WHEREVER he wants, so any kind of PLAN or SCHEDULE you put in place is really at the mercy of his belly... and his butt. And it's hard already thinking that it feels like we were just checking out of the hospital a week or so ago, yet here we are an entire MONTH later, and gawd this time is going to go by way WAY faster than you ever could have imagined.