Cuz there's this teeny tiny little serene boy - MY boy - laying across my chest, legs hanging down my side, sleeping all securely tucked into my housecoat... and no, him being so f*g cute right now DOESN'T fix the fact that it's t-minus-2-hours until the donkey shift begins, but it DOES help. Cuz it gives me moments. And it's the moments that help.
It helps that we are not living in a TWENTY-FOUR-SEVEN donkey shift - that my boy is not colicky, he just has a fussy... no, make that INSANE... "phase" every day.
It helps that he's a rockstar at the thing I was most stressed about - breastfeeding. He does it well, and he's made something that could've been hard, quite easy.
It helps that he's so teeny tiny that I get to do lots of skin-to-skin, cuz NOTHING we were given fits him, and the single preemie-sized sleeper we caved and bought ALREADY has poop on it, so I get to keep him good and warm with some skin-to-skin while we do laundry.
It helps that when I'm not sure if he's breathing or not, he doesn't seem to MIND me poking him to wait for a reflex reaction. He actually just reacts, and continues on with his peaceful little sleep.
And for the bad wife in me, it helps that last night, the husband took the majority of the donkey shift... and he walked around ALL day today, STUNNED, repeating how he knew from MY stunned look the other night that it had been bad, but he really didn't know just HOW fucking bad until he lived it himself.
He really didn't know how sincere I REALLY was when I'd said that the night before, when he'd spelled me off, I'd gone to bed, covered my head with his pillow, and cried myself to sleep [that only a few nights in I was already trying to DROWN OUT the sound of my boy's crying]. He really didn't know until *I* came in last night at 4am to spell HIM off, and he wanted to RUN, not walk, from his own son's room.
But tonight, *I'll* take on the donkey shift, the husband will [hide and] recover, and tomorrow there'll be more moments that rock. And while those moments won't FIX the donkey shift, or make the donkey shift any more BEARABLE, they do at least give me some balance that I didn't have that first night. The donkey shift ISN'T 24-7, and this teeny tiny little boy is just about THE coolest thing - AND scariest - we've ever done.
36 comments:
Just keep telling yourself if you can reach that 12 month mark it all gets better. You can do it!
Trust me, I am slightly panicky at the thought of doing the "donkey shift" thing all over again. I guess luckily I have the experience of doing it without outside help the first time since my family sucks and never came to help... *sigh*
He is gorgeous... *melt*
He is adorable, congratulations. During the donkey shift just keep looking at his beautiful face and tell yourself he is worth it!
He's beautiful in every way! Congrats!
I hope you make it through the donkey shift. (I didn't know that had a name - now I do). Trust me, my friend, you will sleep again. The lack of sleep is the worst part but as you are finding out, all of the other stuff out-weigh it by far!!!!
He is absolutely beautiful. Congrats. Donkey shift and all....
:-)
awwwwwwwww!!! He is adorable!!
He's beautiful! We too had a 3 he spell that was pure he'll, called it the witching hour. I also was so thankful it was short! Although when you're living it, it doesn't seem that short ;)
congrats again
He is truly beautiful. You know, I can see and hear the satisfaction and joy you are feeling.
That is one beautiful little boy! Hope the donkey shift gets shorter and less frequent in the days ahead, but if it doesn't, it sounds like you are dong great. Glad that nursing is going well for you both - it is so good to have that going well to help balance off the donkey shift. Big hugs to you both.
He is beautiful!!!
I was wondering when we'd get a peek @ that cute lil' thing:-)
So glad to hear the bf'ing thing is going well!! That's such a relief for a new mommy. & for added encouragement, my B was awesome to start out as well & he's still going strong:-)
Glad the two of you are figuring out things one donkey shift at a time:-)
What a cutie! It sounds like you've got a good set up between you and the hubby which is great! Just hang in there as it does get easier. :)
When my sister came to visit in the early weeks after my daughter was born she condescendingly told me "I'll take her for a while, newborn crying just doesn't really get to me." I was so grateful that somebody was going to let me escape for a while that I couldn't bother to be angry with her attitude. Sure, it doesn't "get to you" if you've had ten hours of sleep and a leisurely morning of reading the papers and walking on the beach!
Now she has twins - HA! She is at the end of her frazzled rope and, eleven years later, apologized for just not getting it at the time. And I understand - it's just impossible to really imagine the circumstances until you're suddenly there.
Good luck with the neutering-donkey thing, and just hang onto the fact that this is normal, you'll be fine, and things will get better sooner than you think. Plus, he's so damn cute - that has got to help!
What a beautiful boy! After the third day home, I told my husband to sleep through the donkey shift, as I was capable of being awake at 3 am and still being relatively cordial the rest of the day (relatively in relation to him, that is). I hope things smooth out, but it gets both harder and more rewarding during the first year. Sometimes it gets a little easier too.
I used to think it sounded like a goat but donkey sounds about right. Good thing you can take turns. That really helps. He looks precious, btw.
Do you have one of those huge exercise balls? The bouncing really helped our little goat.
He is absolutely perfect! That face would make all those donkey shifts worth it!
I just saw that you had your son! WOW. Sorry the adjustment is tough. I remember when Min Man came home at 15 months and we went from 0 to 60 in one day. I was very overwhelmed. Things worked themselves out and we figured it out. Congratulations, Chicklet.
What a beautiful boy you have!
I like that you call it 'the donkey shift' - it is perfect. Just calling it 'fussy' doesn't do it justice.
There are nights when I put him to bed and I am so DONE. I'm tired, grumpy, hungry and in desperate need of a shower and just want to be selfish for a little while. By morning, I can't wait for him to wake up and he'll be all smiles. It makes it all totally worth it.
It is hard. You don't know what to do, you don't know what he wants and none of the suggestions of friends or family help. Our pediatrician told us that things would start to look up at six weeks, but that seemed like an eternity away.
I'm not sure exactly where I was going with that except to be one more person to tell you is ~does~ get easier. And just when you thought you couldn't, you'll love him even more.
I have to say that I am really happy that you are such a real person.
Let me explain- You come out and say things like they are. not that this is new, I have been reading your blog since befor you were pregnant and that is part of why I keep reading. I found your blog when I was struggleing with IF issues and it was interesting to read another persons perspective. We are now at 28 weeks, so I too was able to find a way!
It just drives me crazy when people sugar coat EVERYTHING and talk about how perfect and wonderful EVERYthing with a new little one is.
I know that somepeople have very good babies, that only sleep and eat...some people DON'T...
I am sorry that you have had such a crazy first few days with the little guy, but it seems like things can only get better, and that you have an awsome support person in your husband!
I am excited to be able to hear how things keep going for you.
Anyhow, I hope I didn't sound like a crazy person.
He is a very cute little boy too!
He looks like a tiny little man - so cute! Sorry about the donkey shift. Hopefully trading shifts with your husband now will allow you to keep doing that as the weeks drag on...and on. You'll all survive and like everyone else said, it will get better.
It certainly helps that he's so cute. Sometimes I didn't mind getting up because I just loved looking into her face.
And other times, well, donkey.
Yay both of you on the nursing!
My girl is only four months old and those newborn days already seem like a distant foggy memory. Remember to slow down every once in a while and take a mental picture. Things do look up around the six week mark. (Mine actually started sleeping through the night at six weeks.) My trick? For the first couple of months she would sleep only in her bouncy seat with the vibration on. Everyone got some sleep and she transitioned easily to the crib when she was ready.
First of all, congratulations!!!
He's OH SO CUTE!
I'm so glad the nursing is going easily. Someone gave me some pregnancy books today and I winced at the nursing multiples pictures!
Could you ever have imagined you'd be here now, after all of the IVF heartache? Amazing. I'm so happy for you. :)
First off, he is truly gorgeous - I can just eat him! Wishing you strength for these first few weeks. The first two weeks are the hardest and nothing can prepare you for it, even though everybody tells you about it. After two weesks it gradually becomes better and at around 6 weeks things usually start to fall in place. Hang in there. It sounds like you are doing very well, even if you do feel like bursting into tears a lot of the time.
Oh my gosh Chicklet - that boy is too gorgeous for his own good! And those amazingly long pianist fingers? *melt*
xxx
Congratulations, he is absolutely gorgeous. I do hope things get better soon with the fussiness, but I truly truly appreciate you posting the warts-and-all truth about how hard it is...I'll be there in a couple of weeks & its good to have a heads up!
In any case its all so very very worth it!!!
Oh, he is a adorable!! Even more so minus the sound effects, I am sure. ; ) I have no experience with these things, & so have no assvice to offer. Just some (((hugs))) & wishes for a good night's sleep.
Chicklet, he's ADORABLE! < drool >
He is adorable!
I remember just waiting for that first smile - for some kind of payment for the days and weeks of hard work. It was definitely worth the wait.
Reading this really brought me back, and I have to admit that I'm not exactly looking forward to dealing with the newborn nights again. But, I know I'll survive, and you will too. (And there is something absolutely magical about a newborn all curled up into themselves while they sleep on your chest)
Your boy is beautiful. Congratulations.
Congratulations! Someday soon you will laugh nostalgically about the donkey phase.
My own little blond boy prefers rooster noises.
Cute!!!
He is beautiful! I hope each day gets a little bit easier. Glad to hear that BF is going very well!
Loooook at that cutie pie! Cant you just hear me gooo-ing and ahh-ing over here?
So happy for you, sweetie!
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He is amazing! I have been away for so long that I haven't even said congrats yet. COngrats! I hope the night shift is getting better. I guess I will find out as I make my way through my 1,000+ posts.
Hooray for your little guy!
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