This whole "measuring behind" thing is messing with my head. Because while I'm extremely proud that at 32 weeks, I can STILL run for 25 minutes straight without stopping sometimes (other times, there are 2 pee breaks in a 20-40 minute run), I'm now in a weird place where I don't know if I WANT to be running for 25 minutes straight without stopping.
Admittedly, my ego is LOVING the compliments I get from strangers at the gym, who when realizing that that chick hauling ass on the treadmill is PREGNANT, have gone so far as to tell me stories about other people in their lives who can't lose weight, yet they're not at the gym, and me, a pregnant chick is. Admittedly, my ego is ALSO loving that people regularly tell me how I've only gained in the belly, nowhere else, and they think I look great.
But...
BUT...
The thing is... I'm measuring behind.
And yes, Tiny B's heartbeat is great, he moves a ton, and he DID grow at JUST behind the "3 week pace" he should have between my last appointment (3 weeks ago) and this one. But the problem is he didn't CATCH UP, AND he got a little further behind - not MUCH (a day or two), but enough that I'm now very aware that at TWO appointments, I've measured behind.
And no, I'm not FREAKING OUT or anything, but how can there not be SOME part of me that doesn't ask if I've had anything to do with this? As my OB says, some babies are just small, and he's TOTALLY FINE with a small baby as long as he's HEALTHY, but unless we run an ultrasound or do some tests, we have no idea WHY he's behind - ie. am I just small? or is something going on?. Obviously my OB isn't concerned enough to run any of that, because he says LOTS of women measure behind, but I'm just kinda selfishly pissed that after this all going so SWIMMINGLY well, that I'm now measuring behind. Whether it means anything or not, it annoys me none-the-less.
Because while I UNDERSTAND that it's my UTERUS that's measuring behind (and Tiny B in it obviously), and I UNDERSTAND that my exercise impacts my ASS and my BACKFAT and everywhere ELSE on my body, it's hard not to wonder if I need to tone it back a bit now that I'm at 32 weeks. If I were instructed to, I'd do it in a SECOND - without even thinking about it. But I'd miss it, a LOT! So without being INSTRUCTED to do so, trying to find some middle ground is hard, because I WOULD, honestly, MISS it.
YES, I'm still doing prenatal aqua once a week with Fit4Two and loving it, and YES, I'm still doing a "trainer-like" workout once a week (on my own though, cuz my trainer quit & moved), and YES, I'm still running... but I'm now only running once or twice a week, and only for 20-40 minutes (I walk the other days I used to run).
And YES, I get that that probably sounds like a LOT, but honestly, compared to what I WAS doing training for a half marathon? This ain't NOTHING!!! And even compared to what I was doing a month or two ago when I was running the full three times a week PLUS doing aqua PLUS the trainer, this IS toned down. So now it's a matter of how much MORE I tone it down... or not...
Because for all those months, at every single appointment, I measured totally ON TRACK. So there was no QUESTIONING what I was doing, as everything was progressing as it should. Admittedly, NOBODY'S saying things AREN'T progressing as they should, I'm just small. And admittedly, NOBODY'S saying I CAN'T keep up my exercise pace - I asked, and my OB laughed at me, joking that while I don't seem to THINK I'm pregnant [with the amount of fitness I'm able to keep up], he has NO concerns with me exercising. He even went so far as to suggest it's helping with my blood pressure being so low, and helping me not retain any water.
But as the crazy pregnant lady, I can't help but question it a bit. To wonder what it is that *I* in particular am doing, that's making ME measure behind when others aren't. Cuz honestly, the difference I can SEE, is the exercise. But also honestly, who the hell KNOWS what those preggos eat versus don't, how much they sleep versus don't, which vitamins they take versus don't... I know in my HEAD, that everybody is different, and every pregnancy is different, but as someone who's wanted this for a very very VERY long time, I just don't want to be screwing anything up here.
Saturday, 19 September, 2009
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23 comments:
Chicklet -- I think it's great that you are still exercising.
I worked out during both of my pregnancies and had excellent deliveries and recoveries. I feel that my fitness level had a lot to do with "easy" deliveries.
If your doc has no problem with what you are doing and your body feels good, I bet you are fine.
Ditto Sheri. She's very wise. And so are you.
I get that it is frustrating because you don't know but I agree with the other two. I think you are doing an absolutely AMAZING job!
By the tape, M ran quite behind (about 6 weeks) from around 26 weeks on. So I had a trillion ultrasounds.. but she was always around the 50th percentile there. So I'm thinking that the uterus is just a very strange thing.
I would trust your OB's advice. He's seen lots of pregnant ladies and lots of pregnancies. The exercising you're doing IS good for you and will help you through the final months, your delivery and your recovery. I know how easy it is to blame yourself, but if your doctor thinks what you're doing is OK, then I would think it is. A healthy mom makes a healthy baby.
I still stick with "listen to your body" - if you aren't in pain, you feel better doing it - do it. If you start to get winded or feel uncomfortable - stop. Your doc is fine with it - you feel good - keep going.
I think everyone wants to hear that they are perfect, their baby is perfect. We misinterpret anything better than average (which is average meaning there are those above and below those markers but most are there) as bad - but it isn't. Truly.
Hopefully a smaller baby means easier delivery of a healthy baby. I won't say "just relax".
If your doc isn't worried, try not to worry either. Everybody carries differently. Remember that the measurements are an average not a guarantee of this is where you should be. You are doing fabulously.
Hi, delurking for a minute to say I love your blog (am now 15 weeks and trying to maintain an exercise schedule).
Have you read Exercising Through your Pregnancy by James F. Clapp? It explains studies he and others have done on women who exercise at 55% of pre-pregnancy levels throughout the pregnancy, listing the many, many benefits for mother and baby.
One of the interesting findings for me is that for women who continue to exercise, their babies run somewhat small. Fetal growth is still generally within normal ranges, but a little smaller all around, and lower (but normal) birth weight. He calls them 'lean and mean' - like their mothers. Could this be the case for Tiny B - that it is just starting to show early?
btw, the studies show people who exercise also deliver earlier (at term - not premature), so be prepared for 38 weeks instead of 40!
However, he also says that abnormal growth *can* be a contraindication for continuing to exercise - it should be monitored. But if your doctor says the slightly lower growth rate OK, it's probably just that Tiny B is going to be on the small side (as are you, and making it easier for labor!).
Other than that, the important things are eating lots of protein and good carbs at the right time (including just after exercise), and doing kick counts, especially after exercise. And make sure you keep feeling good!
Wait, you know they can't really tell how big the baby is, right? With an ultrasound, the weight can be off by a pound. That's a lot when you're talking about something the size of a baby. So, you're not retaining an excess of water, or sporting a spare tire - I'm pretty sure those things can affect your measurement. Next appointment, drink some extra water and see what happens...
Keep exercising.
I'm sure everything is ok! I've the doc isn't worried, it should be fine.
You go on with your bad self! :)
Delurking after following you for a while. If your OB was concerned in the slightest I expect you would have been going for serial growth scans by now. The fact that he hasn't sent you is a good sign. Maybe you should ask him to if it is still measuring on the small side next visit.
I had a friend who had a lovely girl and was also measuring behind all the way during pregnancy (not due to running, but she developed gal bladder issues and could not eat any fat at all in order to avoid having a gall bladder attack). she actually gained zero pounds pregnant (she was a little overweight) and her baby is totally healthy.
I have no experience in this at all, but just wanted to let you know that I'm sure if there was a major cuase for concern your OB would not have laughed at your question...
I think you ROCK for being 32 weeks and still exercising like you are - maybe I can be a cool hot pregnant chick like you one day too ;)
xxx
Lots of sound advice already here. If your doc ain't stressed and most importantly, if it feels right to you and your body, I don't think alarm bells should be sounding.
and FYI, you're my hero.
The others have given you more than enough sound advice. If you're doc isn't worried, then you should be either.
O measured a full 4 weeks behind at 36w. (On the u/s AND on my uterus size - he was breech so they wanted to visualize his position before we scheduled my C). And he was a healthy newborn. Small, yes. But healthy.
And my OB was NEVER worried, even when he measured small. She told me that he was within normal ranges and that I shouldn't worry. So I tried not to.
Anyway. Long way of saying that I know where you're coming from. But really - try not to worry. You're doing great.
xxx
(PS- Um can you forgive me for being a slacker on the clothes stuff? I will be taking some pix for you tonight, I promise.)
You have simply been ahhhmazing through your pregnancy and staying fit--your little one will have gotten so much from your healthy lifestyle!
They told me over and over again that Oman was measuring small--they were almost 2 1/2 pounds and 1 in head circ. off of the actual.
I know you know that I think you're fab and amazing and so inspirational with keeping up your level of fitness and I agree with everyone else that you can take your lead from your OB, but...
To me the question is about responsibility. If you didn't stop running and Tiny B did end up measuring small - would you feel responsible? If you do stop running and he is fine will you feel like its because you stopped?
Is there a middle ground? Can you cut back in some way - keeping up the fit 4 two and the aquafit and the walking but maybe not running? What are the "risks" if you do cut back? Remember mental stress has as much as an impact as physical stress so if you're stressing about it the result may be the same.
Huge hugs!
You know what to do and to feel, obviously, better than I could guess. But it strikes me in reading your post that there doesn't really seem to be any evidence for a causal link between exercise and small baby, only the dumb comments and assumptions that people make. OK, running a marathon at 8 months pregnant, there might be some possible causal links, but your OB doesn't think there is a link - have you seen any research that suggests there *could* be a link? Presumably (and here I am totally guessing as a nonmedical professional) the issue in theory would be not whether you exercise or not but whether you take in enough calories to balance what you burn. You could potentially solve that just by eating more, then you would get to exercise just as much.
I presume you are also aware that measurements of size (i.e. weight) are notoriously poor in the 3rd trimester. One of my friends was told a few weeks ago that her baby was in the 4th percentile for weight. Panic, everybody! She went to a specialist in estimating birth weight and guess what? It was actually the 22nd percentile. And she is a small person. Baby was perfectly healthy when she came, a little small but not more than you would expect from small parents.
But I totally hear you on why do I have to deal with this?!
Do you realize what's happening? It's the mother thing kicking in already. You will feel like this for every single thing that happens with your kid. If he doesn't latch properly - you will wonder if it's something you've done wrong. When he doesn't sleep through the night - you will wonder if it's something you're not doing right. When he won't eat his veggies - you will wonder if you've done something wrong. When he dates a girl that you can't stand - you will wonder where you went wrong...
But just like you said every pregnancy is different. And every person is different, every baby is different. Everyone does things at a different pace.
I think you are rocking this shit and you should keep doing what makes you feel good and keeps you healthy.
Also I am now definitely going for a run when husband gets home from work. Thanks!
I hate to break it to you, but if you were sitting around not getting any physical activity, it's possible you could still be measuring behind, and no matter what, you would still be worrying about it. Like someone else said, it is the mothering way to worry.
Do what makes you feel good and try to take stock in what the doctor says. You have been so awesome throughout this whole pregnancy, and I would hate to see you second guessing yourself now.
Even though my doc tries to reassure me, I am still terribly paranoid. I know I am measuring behind and I can very clearly see other pregnant women who are behind me in dates but way ahead of me in inches. It is making me crazy wondering what is going on in there.
This being said, I haven't been exercising in weeks. There is always the possibility that Tiny B would still measure out the same regardless of the exercise. You could cut back on the exercise if it eased your mind, but I have a feeling your mind would be better if you continued. If your doc says it is okay, trust in him. (Why is it I can doll out the advice but can't take it myself?!?!)
Hugs to you . . .
I think you just need to trust your OB. Make sure you express all your concerns and get all your questions answered, but in the end, you need to trust someone, so why not let that person be your OB?
On the other hand, if this is going to nag at you (the exercise and the wondering if you should be doing it), then just remind yourself that it's only 8 more weeks or so. I know you'd miss it, but 8 weeks isn't long.
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