As Nancy pointed out the other day, I'm kinda sucking in the FET coverage area (although I should defend her to say that SHE didn't use the word sucking, *I* did). But the truth is, I AM sucking. Sucking like I didn't really write about the weeks going INto it, sucking like I didn't really write about the drugs revving UP for it, sucking like I didn't even really write about the actual TRANSFER.
And the only reason I can really figure - or the TWO reasons I can really figure - are one, this transfer was like the stupidest smallest BLIP on the radar I've ever seen. And two, BECAUSE it was like the stupidest smallest BLIP on the radar I've ever seen, there REALLY wasn't a lot to write.
Yea, for a few weeks I had to snort the Synarel that reminds me of a flavour I'd probably get from chewing on my HAIRSPRAY bottle. And yea for a few weeks, I had to (and still have to) take the tiny little Estrace pills that were SOOOOO teeny tiny that I didn't even need water to swallow them. And yea, I had to go in for a visit with my old friend the DILDOCAM, but it was A visit - ONE visit, a SINGLE appointment, and BLIP, time to head into transfer.
And I dunno, maybe not all transfers are LIKE this, but other than the damn photo and almost wetting myself part, most of this cycle just hasn't even seemed real? I mean, it's not like we got be a NORMAL couple and just DO IT DO IT DOOOOOOOO ITTTTTTT, but ya know, this transfer's about the closest thing to normal WE'LL ever see.
Cuz with NO needles (for stims OR bloodwork), NO IV, NO anaesthetic, and NO repeated appointment after appointment after appointment, we's got ourselves two B+ embryos sittin' in my ute. Admittedly they're our LAST embryos, and that means all SORTS of decisions should the time come that we NEED to decide things again, but for now, SUPPOSEDLY, there's two in there. Most likely they're all DRUNK on the sludge and doing their DAMNDEST to make their way OUT, cuz they wouldn't be MINE if they WEREN'T trying to escape, but we'll see how they do... even WITH the coffee I so kindly treated myself to.
But whether THEY, or the SLUDGE, win out? Well, it's TBD in a September 12th blood test. If I make it that far.
Tuesday, 2 September, 2008
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15 comments:
Thanks for the update. I've been wondering if you were close to transfer yet!
Sludge rarely wins. Only in movies like "the blob". And even then, it didn't win. A whole movie all about sludge and no win. Hrm. Gets you thinkin', eh?
And I don't get the defense. When I asked you about it, if you didn't answer, "you suck" would have been naturally next.
Which reminds me of something this weekend that will make this comment too long. There is a big hot air balloon festival each labor day weekend. After all the balloons launched, everyone heads home cause it's only like 830am and the park gets empty quick. I pick up all our trash and head to the garbage can. I make it there 2 seconds before a lady in a wheelchair gets there, so I've already opened the lid. She said all joyfully "Thank you!" and I say, as deadpan as possible, "You just had good timing. I'm really not that nice." heh. She disagreed and waved to me as she wheeled away. :)
My beta is 9/11. I hope that this cycle works for both of us. I am trying to have those "positive thoughts" that everyone gushes about. I am not sure that I put much stock in that but, whatever. I will be waiting to hear how your cycle turns out.
Nancy, sorry, didn't mean to be defensive - you just got me thinking that I really hadn't been talking about it, which for someone as verbose as me, was kinda weird, so I went on and on and on once I started talking:-)
thanks for the update. it can be hard to get excited about these things sometimes. but wishing you well all the same.
AH! AN update. Now I know the timing of the wait and I'll be haunting your blog and crossing my paws for you,
J
Glad that you updated. I knew when transfer was, but if there wasn't anything new to read over here you was gonna get a nudging from me on how you're doing.
And LOL @ Nancy's "I'm really not that nice". She is, but her rocker image would never let her admit it (evil cackle).
I'm hoping the downplaying is diverting energy into burrowing and multiplying appropriately.
You'd better make it.
Thank you for the comment on my blog. I understand with the whole reading but not really knowing what to say...I do it, too. And that's okay.
Anyway, I am crossing everything possible from now until the 12th that you'll get to that date and have somethin' to show for it. It's okay if you haven't talked about it very much this time, since it's been so diff. than the times before. We're still here, cheering you on, and drooling for updates even when you do it every day:-)
I SO get what you are saying - I felt exactly the same way with my FET - it was kinda surreal and "under watery" (shocking grammar I know - long day)
I'm with Nancy - sludge rarely wins!
I have been wondering when there would be a ute update...
september 12 seems so effing far away. damn!
Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for you! HUGS!
Whatever gets you through is the best way to handle it.
I hope that this is your last cycle, not because you are out of embryos, but because it works.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Hopefully the last embies are the charm!
I, for one, am glad for the update, and thinking good thoughts for you.
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