So we've had some MIGHTY shitty days around here this past week, but between the drinking, the working, and the all-consuming-pity-parties, we've also laughed too. Cuz we're kinda fucked up that way...
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Conversation #1 - Email Chain Between Me & OliveGirl
Hey, you okay? Are you working?
All I can say without crying is I'm here.
Well, know that I'm thinking about you.
My NICE response would be to say something about how I appreciate that, but my REAL response is I feel like killing people.
Uh, hopefully not ME? Cuz when you're feeling better, I want to make you a fabulous dinner with some VERY expensive wine. It's all I can do.
Well, it's not actually ALL you can do - you could gimme a baby. You have two you bitch! You don't REALLY want two do you? I mean seriously, imagine the fun we could HAVE and the havoc we could WREAK on their teenage lives, when as teenagers, they start dating, and we get to tell them they're actually BROTHER and SISTER!
Fine, the hairy one will be yours.
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Conversation #2 - Me & The Husband
You know what we could do with the second bedroom if we DON'T have kids?
Mmmm?
We could turn it into a MAIL room! That whole IKEA thinger with all the SLOTS I was going to put the kids' toys into? Well we could buy it ANYWAY, and the slots could be used for MAIL, and TAXES, and all that shit that's piled up in all sorts of closets all over our house!
Jesus woman, you SURE do know how to dream big don't you?!
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Conversation #3 - Me & The Husband Figuring Out Our Evening
We could go to the BEACH and play BOCCE?
Nah.
We could run a tub full of SUPER hot water, crawl in, and either hang out and chat - with a glass of wine of course, or we could grab books and NOT chat, but keep the wine and the water parts?
That'd be a great idea if we had a DECENT tub to sit in.
We could go to the DOG beach and steal somebody's dog?
Would it be practice for stealing a BABY?
Exactly! It'd be like a trial run, but with FAR less consequences and MUCH more biting.
Tuesday, 13 May, 2008
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10 comments:
You crack me up. That last conversation, I was picturing you and the husband as Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter in Raising Arizona.
Ah, Chicklet. You are nothing of not resiliant,
J
You have me completely cracking up over here. So now I feel bad because it really isn't funny at all. I'm so glad that no matter what happens you manage to find humor to help see you through. You're amazing.
You never stop making me laugh...hope it helps to pick you up a little too
sorry I've been a bad commentor lately. But I love the idea of taking care of you! You're pretty damn important!!
I know that I can always visit your blog when I need a good pee in the pants.
Be sure to post baby-stealing tips once you have your system down!
Too funny! Too funny in a fucked up, but oh so understandable way!
I stumbled over your site from the blog list at Dr. Grumbles' site, and just from the few posts I've read... I feel like finally I've found someone that is expressing the absolute anger I feel about having to deal with infertility.
You make me laugh, too. Mostly because you sound quirky, like me, and I laugh at myself all of the time.
Me: That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger...
Chicklet: Oh yeah, like platitudes are going to make me feel better?
Me: No. It's just that they're usually true somewhere down the line.
Chicklet: Keep that up and I might have to, well, you heard my REAL response didn't you?
Me: um, yeah, but I figured you'd cool off on the drive to California, what with the nice scenery and all.
Creating that mail room, complete with an IKEA thinger and all - that's not funny, that's BRILLIANT!! ;-) It makes me search my memory for likewise brilliant ideas and conversations I've had with my husband. When I get serious, he makes sure we get back to the silly. What else can you do?
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