(from last month...)
Knock knock... "Uh, why is the door locked? Are you doing your hair?"
"Uh, it's 11pm. I'm NOT doing my hair..."
"What the hell are you doing then?"
Door opens, "I didn't want to! I really really REALLY didn't want to! I tried to go really fast while you were checking your messages and I thought I could hide it with hairspray?!"
"Oh dear gawd, tell me you DIDN'T?"
"I couldn't help it! It was just... well, it was coming!!!! And then I was scared that if I fought it... well, what if mid-doing-it I got the urge again and then it was REALLY coming and I couldn't stop it????? I didn't want to!!!! I swear, I didn't I didn't I DIDN'T!!!!"
"And we still have to....?"
"Yes:-( ... Oh my gawd, I POOED! I ruined everything! I POOED! How could I have pooed TONIGHT of ALL nights?"
"Stop SAYING you pooed! That ISN'T helping things!"
"But I POOED!!! Gawd!!!!!!!!"
"Well, I guess that eliminates option NUMBER ONE tonight..."
"Gawd! I could've had option NUMBER ONE?! What if I showered?"
"Are you seriously NEGOTIATING foreplay with me?"
"Well you told me to stop telling you I POOED!"
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*Update*: Don't forget to vote for Mel! Nobody's done as much for this community as she has, and having an INFERTILITY blog win - come on!!!!
Saturday, 3 November, 2007
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18 comments:
Again, you need to put a, 'Do not read this while near open containers of refreshments' disclaimer on your posts. Please.
Hilarious, as always. I'm so down right now, and I knew that your blog was exactly what I needed.
I don't get it. You won't have sex if you go to the bathroom the same day you have sex?
Hilarious! I swear our bodies play tricks on us. Your bowels and ovaries are in cahoots, I tell ya.
Nancy, we just wanted some time or a shower in between. We'd left doing it until bedtime that night and instead of going in with hot thoughts, we were both trying to clear our brains of the fact that he'd just walked into the bathroom and smelled the smelliness:-(
I can't stop laughing - because I know what cha mean!
:)
Nuthin' like a little mystery,
J
Haha, I think the offer of a shower was fair! That's like starting from scratch.
You're too funny!
this was so funny!
D and I must be laid back or just gross or something...because we'll get it on no matter what has been going on! Maybe it helps that there is some distance between our room and the bathroom!
Just think, if you hadn't emptied your bowels, the deed would be quite uncomfortable for you.
I eat dinner with you people!
I feel sorry for Olive girl. That is wat too much to know about someone you meet in real life!!
We always negotiate foreplay. I thought everyone did!
Bodily functions and bd'ing just seems like an odd pair. I will hope for poo free nights in the future when you need/want to get it on. :)
Don't you hate it when that happens?
Oh my goodness...I just laughed really loud! Sorry for the un-timely poo;)
So gross, lovey.
Thank you thank you thank you for the shout out.
Yeah, I know the feeling, it's like when he farts all bloody night. Not exactly an aphrodisiac.
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